In times like these, when we’re aware of the importance of being kind to others, we must remember to be kind to ourselves as well.
The lock down for some can be a time for self-reflection, slowing down and engaging in pleasurable activities we often don’t have time for. For others though, it can be a time of trying to do too much. Juggling home schooling, running a business, creating a business, zoom after zoom after zoom. What would we say to a dear friend if we saw them trying to do too much?
Dr Kristin Neff says “With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend”. How often do you honestly do that?
Her research found there are physiological effects of being kind and also physiological effects of not being kind. So when we are self-critical and hard on ourselves, our body senses a threat. This then triggers the fight or flight response to fight the threat or run away. Cortisol is released to help us do this. Too much cortisol (the stress hormone) is not a good thing.
The good news though is that being kind to yourself releases Oxytocin (the cuddle or love hormone) and as research found even reduces cortisol levels.
Tips of how to have compassion for yourself;
- Watch your self-talk – don’t say things to yourself you wouldn’t say to a good friend.
- Say kind words to yourself – When things go wrong, what would you say to a good friend? Say those kind words to yourself.
- Physical touch – just as we’d soothe an upset child with a hug or touch, the same can work for us. Our brain responds to touch and releases Oxytocin, thus reducing cortisol. Even gently placing your hand on your arm and mindfully pausing will start this process.
